…and what I do instead

Have you reached the start of a new year with big dreams for the next 365 days? Do you have a vision of how you would like your life to be, what you would like your life to look like and feel like by 31st December 2022?

Have you set goals for the year?

I have. If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?

Goals are great.
• Goals Give You Direction. …
• Goals Help Identify What’s Important to You. …
• Goals help you Measure Progress Towards Success. …

The problem comes when we (our ego) want quick fixes and transformation. We go ‘all out’ on the 1st of January and are all out by the 5th!

And how do we feel about ourselves then? At best, not great. (Enter stage left: vicious cycle of beating self up / self loathing)

I’ll let you fill in the blanks of what you say to yourself, how you feel about yourself when you don’t measure up to your expectations of getting it all right, right from the start (or perhaps you’re so far down the track of self flagellation that you don’t even bother having goals anymore).

Here’s the thing.

Our nervous system is tuned for survival and will do all it can to keep you where you are at. Where it feels safe.

Those behaviours that you have, those protective parts of you that are no longer working, that are no longer serving you, that are holding you back from becoming who you truely are, that you would like to change? They’re engrained in your nervous system, not your head.

So it’s simple.

The key to change is working with your nervous system, working WITH, not pushing AGAINST, those protective strategies that you’ve developed (for very good reason) over time.

And just how do we do that?

Slowly. Slowly. Slowly.

True transformation comes from small steps, every day.

Small steps, every day, keep our nervous system feeling safe. Small steps, every day, remind us, re-teach us that we can rely on ourselves, that we can follow through.

Small steps, every day help us learn to trust ourselves again.

So for me, it’s a big NO to New Year resolutions that have to happen. right. now.

What I do instead
1. Brainstorm all my goals for the year. All of them. I usually come up with a list of around 20 things.
2. Look at my list of goals. Is there one goal amongst them, that if I changed that area, achieved that goal, it would have a massive knock on affect on all the others? That’s my main goal for the year.
3. Break that goal into teeeeeny, tiny steps. What would the first, teeny tiny step be towards achieving that goal? Is that teeny tiny step realistic? Is something that I can achieve every day? If I did that one thing every day, would it lead me closer to my goal?
4. Each day, I show-up for myself, complete the teeny tiny step and give myself a pat on the back for doing so.
5. And repeat.

‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results’ Einstein.

Journal prompts if you feel drawn to explore this further
• What are my goals for 2022?
• If there was one of those goals, that by achieving it, it would have an impact on all the other goals on my list, what would it be?
• What small thing can I start doing now that will lead me towards achieving that goal?

Flick me an email if you’d like to share your answers to the questions above, I’d love to hear from you: jean@tinkerc111.sg-host.com

And of course, please get in touch if you would like a deeper sense of support as you move towards achieving your hopes and dreams for 2022.

Nga mihi nui

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